Sarge Diary – 8: Sit on your texts & Day 2 planning

This post still not complete

Okay, So I finally have a date with a hot girl on wednesday, tomorrow. She is the one I met in Sarge Diary – 3 and she is also mentioned in Sarge Diary – 5 as Ms Sunshine. I was supposed to text her after the weekend was over. I waited till Monday night around 9:30 pm since that is when I met her and also texted her. Since things are going so well for me at 9:30pm, I thought why change that? Not to be superstitious or anything, but continuing what has worked so far is a core philosophy of mine. I have also developed a new habit whereby  I don’t txt the girl immediately after I figure out what to right. I first save the message in a draft and send it after about 10-15 minutes. Usually, I manage to think of some minor modifications in the 10-15 minutes that ensue. A text usually changes a couple times before I send it to her. Thanks to KrauserPUA for this idea (Sorry, I can’t find the exact post where he writes that. It just stayed in my mind after I once sent a text to a girl and immediately regretted it. Best to sit on the text for a while. Especially if the text is the initiatory one. Sometimes, you and the girl are text flirting each other in a fast paced manner. Then there is no need to sit on the text because you are already in the zone and doing so only breaks momentum.

Here is how the text exchange went down

Me: So, texter girl ;-p. Why don’t you pencil me into your blackberry for this Wednesday evening?

* She did not reply for a full half hour. She usually replies back quick. My mind again began to swirl. Did she see me talking to lots of chicks in the orchard area? Did she see me walking with that filipina girl? Maybe I should sarge in some other part of town. Maybe I should text her that the girl she saw me with was only a friend. Seriously! I AM the bridget jones of the pick up scene. What a drama queen I am. I force myself to just sit tight. I stretch to occupy the time *

She: Haha!

*That’s not an answer! I force myself to sit tight instead of react to it my sending a text. Man! I notice that I am such a mangina! How the hell did I manage to get laid all these years? Maybe I had a job then and my mind had no time for such paranoia?*

She: If I’m in town, Then you got it 😉

*What the hell was that? What does that even mean? It’s a simple yes or no question. I decide to let loose this one time in my own controlled way. That’s the problem with hot girls. Their thinking about guys is all muddled and confused. I mean she is not sure she is attracted to me. I type the text in and decide to sit on it. But oh-oh! I somehow fuck up and send it*

Me: That’s neither here nor there, (girl’s name)!

*Oh! Shit. It needed a smiley. Damage control. Think fast*

Me: I’m a guy. I don’t understand subtlety 😉

*Not the best. But not so bad either. I showed her that she can’t push me around. I ain’t no puppy dog gonna keep my wednesday free just so I might just get the chance to show her a good time. Fuck that! I have a date with the hot college coed friday and sunday I’m off to Universal studios. If She ain’t coming, Me am gonna go on a sarge-a-thon brother. But the second one had some gentle humor. Now she does not reply for another half hour. I do some stretches, listen to fleetwood mac and sit tight. I get a flurry of texts*

She: Oh you

* Okay! She has been thinking *

She: Meaning, if my girlfriends and I book Tix for Malaysia, I can’t. But, if we don’t, then WEd eve sounds FAB 🙂
She: & it’s looking like they can’t get out of work ….
She: So, wed. I’d be free
She: Can I let you know for sure in AM

* I like what she has concluded. She has been thinking what she feels about me and it looks like she has concluded that this dude is someone who she must look into further. A nice guy, but a firm guy. The flurry of texts would seem to indicate that unless I am very much mistaken*

Me: Haha……Sure

* I had to smile. Love the way girls think. The next morning when I am returning from the physio, I get the text*

She: I’m in town 2morrow !!! :):):)
She: Wed eve is all about you

*Three smileys one after the other. I must say a good night’s sleep does wonders for the clarity of one’s thinking.*

Me: D-uh! Of course. I had to manipulate the planets a bit >:->. When do you get off work tomorrow?

* CockyFunny –> check! Statement Of Intent –> Check *

She: Ha! I bet 😉
She: I’m free by 7ish
Me: Great…..see you at (time) at (place)
She: YaY!
Me: :-,


Date planning history

Okay, so we have the date. So let’s take some time to savor the moment.

*Savoring some more*
*Savoring yet more*
*A final savoring*

But it still a long way from the bang. And an even longer way from the relationship. So while we did good so far brah, there is still miles to go before we sleep. So without further ado, let’s continue on the quest for alpha a.k.a. Game without Shame.

When I was working, one of things I always neglected was Day 2 or the Date planning. I never planned for dates. I had a template and I followed that. In the U.S., it was a coffee house a drinking place. After 45 minutes, it’s off to my place to cook and then I put the moves on her. Worked some times. Did not most of the times. I did not care. I had no time to plan the dates. Work was very busy. Wing it till you get a template and then just follow that. It took me a long while to come up with this template. In Singapore, I was not here long enough nor did I have enough free time to come with a template that worked to my satisfaction. Well, we have the time now. We need to plan for this Day 2. Note that things may not go according to plan. But one must still have a plan.

I remember reading that Rahul Dravid (Just google him) used to visualise himself batting the entire day ball after ball on the night before the match. That’s right. He used to visualise every single godamn ball. Time for me to do something similar.

*thinking begins*

Date Planning

The last two hours of thinking on this have left me even more confused than when I started out. So let’s make some simple points and refine the ideas as we progress

1. They say that in reality a job interview is just a formality. The employer just wants to verify that you are everything your resume claims you are. Similarly a date is just a way for the girl to make sure that I am everything she thinks I am.

2. And what does she think I am? Whatever impression I have given her up to this point. The task is to continue to strengthen the impression I have given her so far
1. Reasonably Well dressed
2. Sense of humor
3. Interesting and fun
4. Not afraid to get to the point
5. Does not get fazed
6. Not a pushover
7. Kinda gets her/gets women

3. Any date location I choose must give me ample scope to continue to display the above traits. That is why a dinner/movie date sucks. You cannot convey any of the points above. So dinner or movie (even an very interesting one) is out of the question. Thus I have to watch the movie, “Ah boy to a man” some other time. Sigh!

4. I must NOT bore her. There is nothing that kills romantic intent faster than Boredom. People get bored when there is a lack of change. It’s sameness that is the cause of boredom. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that. So whatever we do, cannot be a cliche/ho hum kinda deal which she has done several times before. What activity is it that will certainly not bore her?

5. The one activity I am thinking of, which is certainly not boring, is seduction. If I attempt to seduce her and make little attempt to hide it, I guarantee she will not get bored. She may find my clumsy attempts at seduction to be amusing. Laughable too, which happens if confidence is lacking. Or even uncomfortable, if plausible deniability is missing. But boring? No way! So whatever location you go to must be compatible with seduction. This leaves out crowded locations, noisy locations, locations with zero privacy (one of which happens to be my room! Sigh!), locations with curious busybodies (My flat again. Sigh!), places where we run into her friends etc. The point being that I have to attempt to seduce her. This, is non-negotiable. This MUST MUST be done. Get it into your thick skull

6. Clark Quay may not be such a killer idea. Yes, yes, you made it work with a girl who was new to Singapore last year. But she was new, you were new, you were both exploring a new place together. Everything was exciting. Boredom was out of the question, given the circumstances. All you needed to do was not be weird, which thankfully, you did. This girl however, is not new to singapore.

7. Don’t wing this date, godamnit! Winging is something you are forced to do. Never part of a plan. A woman expect direction from a man. A man is supposed to set the direction and have a definite idea how this whole thing is supposed to go down. Okay, time to explore some options. I’m going to walk around this area a bit to get to know things a little better.

8. I need to know some things about her which I don’t
a. Does she drink? Most likely given the malaysia trip
b. Does she dance? Most likely given the malaysia trip
c. Does she have privacy in her own place? Not sure!
d. Do her flat mates have regular jobs? Probably
d. How late can she stay up? Probably quite late judging by her former plan to go to Malaysia. So we could get to her place after midnight when everyone is sleeping and not awake to judge her. Provided of course, that she has auditory privacy at her place. Stop dreaming. This is unlikely to happen. No harm trying though.
e. How long is she plan to be in singapore?
f. Are her friends dating?

9. A simple internet search offered only one really sensible idea. So I guess I better go and do some reconnaisance. David Tian of Aura Dating Academy prescribes

10. Musings
a. Alcohol is expensive. Is it allowed to take your own wine and cheese on a first date and eat/drink at a good location?
b. Take her to a hawker center like the one in AMK and have beer there like my colleagues used to do after work. Saw some pretty hot girls there. So do they mind being taken there for a date. Only problem is it is too noisy. Not conducive to seduction.
c. What about ladies night? Do guys pay to get in? Is it cool if I ask her to take me there? I don’t think so.

11. Headaches
a. Logistics at my place will remain bad until Dec 20. Can I keep her interested until that point if I do not escalate towards sex? Jesus, I have a headache!


The Final date location

Given the time constraint I am working under and after thinking of all the various issues, have come to a decision finally.

1. The date location must be a coffee house. This is mainly due to cost. A drinks date in SG is equivalent to a dinner date for all that it costs you.

2. Coffee is also low stress. Women will more readily agree to coffee than to drinks though this was no longer true by the time I left in the United states. Given that drinks in the US cost 15% of what they cost here, that is to be expected. People go dutch these days. It does play on the girls mind as well

3. Try for a coffee house that is NOT starbucks.

4. Try for a coffee house that is not located close to either her work or her residence. That way she can be herself on the date without worrying if her friends of colleagues are going to see her and judge her or ask her questions later.

5. But the coffee house location should not be too far either. 15-20 minutes commute is what you must shoot for.

6. The coffee house must be vibrant. It must not have a deserted look with just the two of you. It creeps the girl out. And when the staff do not have a whole lot of other customers to serve they will be observing the two of you. Especially if you are escalating on her. So go to a coffee house that is vibrant. Everyone busy with their own business.

7. But it must not be crowded either. That would be noisy. And noise is kryptonite to seduction. How else can she appreciate your deep seductive voice with all that high decibel background noise? There must be enough privacy that you can escalate on her without someone else being able to hear you.

8. Kudos if there is a bar close by. If the escalation in the Coffee house goes well and she is responsive, you can take it to the next level by plying her with some ethanol to loosen her up some more. Strictly speaking, if the logistics at my place were good, this bar would not be required since we would be doing wine and cheese at my place. But the logistics at my place suck. So I will have to kiss or make out with her at said bar.

9. I have found such a place. This is near Bras Basah MRT which is 15 minutes from somerset MRT. A coffee house is right outside the MRT and the bar is a short 10 minute walk away near SMU. Plenty of places to walk as well.


Rehearsing the Day 2 in my mind

Now I need some idea of how this date is going to go down. Remember Rahul Dravid? Exactly! I think I will write a short fictitious dialogue between the two of us with clever witty lines coming out of me and she having a ball giggling away.

To be continued


About masculineffort

A Man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, seduce a woman, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
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