Sarge Diary -2 : Some emails

In the days when I was a busy professional, I never bothered to take email addresses from girls. If the girl was not inclined to give me her phone number or if I did not feel that the interaction looked promising, I’d just move on. Now that my work pressure is a lot less, I want to give this email thing the whole go. So I’m going to start off with a couple

The idea of email is that it gives you a small chance with a hot girl. You could not charm her enough to get her phone number. But godamn it, she is hot. If a phone number is a foot in the door, an email is a toe in the door. If you have the time to think about and craft emails, I say you take it. After all, this is a skill set. In the days when I was an undergrad, writing emails was the only skill set I had in my arsenal of sarging. This skill has vanished after so many years in the U.S. where there are so many hot girls to sarge. No need to bother with emails. But now, i want to try emails just to keep myself stimulated.

Strategy for designer_girl: I don’t want to invest time in crafting an elaborately witty email when the girl may not even be interested. So I am going to keep it short. If she responds, we’ll hit her with some elaborate emails. With that in mind here is the email I crafted

Hey Designer Girl, 

 It was pretty nice meeting you yesterday blah blah etc etc. Now that we have all the pleasant chit chat out of the way, let’s get to the nitty gritty of this email. See, I’m pretty sure I texted myself your email address, but now that i look into my phone, I cannot find your email address. I was just gonna say to myself, “Chuck it.” and leave it at that. Then I thought to myself, “poor designer_girl. She seemed to have stars in her yes. I must search the inner recesses of my mind and try to locate the memory of her email address and bring a smile to her face.” Lucky for you that I am a master of meditation in addition to having a photographic memory like that of an elephant. Otherwise you might have lost the chance for a good time forever ;-). Now, in addition to the rest of my awe-inspiring talents, there is also included the quality of modesty. In case you have not already noticed, I am also exceedingly modest. So I will be the first to admit that there is still a chance that I got your email address wrong. So I am going to keep this short instead writing an extremely witty email like I usually do. Because, who knows right? I might be writing the wrong person. Besides I’m going to be busy for a couple days looking for places to stay. You know any good locations around town where a guy like me can rock the walk? Anyhow, shoot me back an email and I’ll follow up with more once I’m confirmed that I am indeed writing it to you.


Now let’s move on to ESL_girl from the mainland. Her English is not the best though it is not as bad as my mandarin. So I need to compose a basic email whose purpose is more to amuse myself than her.

Hello ESL_girl,

How are you? I am fine. We did not get a chance to get to know each other yesterday because you were waiting for a friend. So let’s get to know each other. We’ll start with me. 

     I am a guy. I am XX years old. I work as an Engineer. I like Engineering. That’s why Engineering is my profession. Because I like it. I also like talking to pretty girls who seem to be cool. That is why I talked to you. Because you were pretty and you looked cool. Don’t worry, i am  not calling you cold. Cold is cold. Like Ice. But cool is cool. Like a cool breeze. I am a warm guy like the waters of the Indian ocean. And you are cool. I am warm like Yang and you are cool like Yin. So when we interact, the result will be the Dao. I do not know about you, but I am in love with Lao Tze. But it is purely the love a disciple has for his master. So don’t get jealous. So if our interaction creates the Dao, then that’s great right? That’s what I thought as well. 

     So why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself


I know, I know. Not the best emails. But hey, I’m rusty. Have not done this crap in almost a dozen years. So cut me some slack, will ya? Hopefully as time goes I will refine my skills.


About masculineffort

A Man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, seduce a woman, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
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2 Responses to Sarge Diary -2 : Some emails

  1. email?? I can see that working with older more professional girls, younger ones you need to text…..Good post!

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