My new philosophy of game is to get slow but gradual improvements over time. The point of taking it slow is that I don’t want to get into high octane situations that are tiring. I don’t want my mind to associate sarging with stress as it is not conducive to longevity. This shit is supposed to be fun or it is supposed to be relaxing! The fun stuff is obvious. It’s all about sex. But the relaxing stuff is about human interaction. We humans are social beings. Sitting all by yourself with your own thoughts is dangerous and can lead to depression, schizophrenia etc. We absolutely need to interact with other human beings. So why not kill two birds with one stone and interact with women. For now focus on the relaxation part and once the relaxation turns into boredom, that’s the time to turn on the high octane stuff. So no direct approaches on a woman unless she is really really hot. Most of time, it is going to be indirect……for now.The key is to avoid a stressful situation.
The basic idea of day 1 was to do a little bit more than I have been doing lately. And what have I been doing lately? Lately I have not been talking to women….at all. So doing a little bit more would mean talking to women. Just talking. No aim, no nothing. Just talking. The most low stress conversation you can think of. Boring is okay for now. Boring is low stress. After all a boring conversation with a woman is better than no conversation at all.
JUST ASK HER A QUESTION
Get into low stress conversations in low pressure situations. So what is the best way to get into low pressure situation with a girl? Easy! ask her a question she can easily answer. It could be the time. It could be directions. It could be nightlife recommendations. But do it with a safe question for now. Any half decent civilized person is obligated to answer. I would prefer to ask for nightlife recommendations over the time and directions as there is the scope of threading as well as adding some edge.
STEP2: ADDING A LITTLE BIT OF THE EDGE
Now once you have asked a question and received an answer several times, you will get bored with it. Hell, even high octane approaches can get stale if done repeatedly for a long enough time. But Boredom is good. That means it’s time to start ratcheting up the edge. How do you ratchet up the edge? By smiling in a flirtatious manner. By smiling in an impish way . Tyler is RSD claims that women do not notice what you say, rather it’s way you say it. The trick, as he puts it, is to divorce the emotion from the content.
You can talk about your commute to the office as if it were you nailing a hot chick and the girl will react as if you are nailing a hot chick. And now YOU my friend have plausible deniability. After all you were just talking about the commute to the office. Same here. Ask her for nightlife recommendations as if you were flirting with her. Have a flirtatious smile on your face. As if you were asking her out. Now watch as her face lights up as well. Once this happens, conversations are easy. She herself will ask you questions such as what sort of places you are looking for etc. etc. From here, your job is to slightly keep upping the ante. During the Day time you cannot obviously ask for nightlife recommendations. Instead ask for place to go to, things to do during the day. You might not want to jump into the question directly. You can start with, “Are you from Singapore”, “Do you know this area well”, “can you speak english?”
IS SHE SMILING
Sometimes it seems like the girl is challenging you or is seemingly making fun of you or telling you to go hit on another woman or offering only monosyllabic answers. Yet, she is smiling. And it’s a genuine smile, not a polite smile. She may even have those big anime eyes that tyler talks about here.
This means she is enjoying the interaction with you. Do not go away or excuse yourself or terminate the interaction. Continue on. Stay on the convo. Up the ante even. Remember, a woman’s body language is way more important than her words. Just like yours is as well. There is this one gambit I did not try. Yesterday, on asking her about the nightlife and the crowd in general, this woman was smiling. Yet she told me to go have a good time as she herself disassociated with me to take another door inside a building. This was a genuine smile. Perhaps a good response would be to stop and engage her more forcefully rather than just walk away. In the nightclub later in the night, couple girls were shit testing me and making fun of me. The whole thing brought home to me the edge in a night game environment. Yet, these two girls were smiling. They were enjoying themselves. They also asked me to go hit on other woman. But their smiles and their laughter indicated that they wanted me to hit back and stay. It’s possible that once I walked away, they thought perhaps they should have been nicer. What they, and many men, and me at the time, did not realize is that women cannot help alpha-testing a guy. They cannot help challenging him all the while expecting him to break through. When they were doing this I should have responded with
1. Why are you pimping those girls to me?
2. Naah! you girls seem more fun
3. Naaah! I’m not interested in pretty girls. I’m interested in you girls.
Instead I became defensive and what happens when guys get defensive. They become logical. They explain themselves. I explained that all the groups were closed groups. How beta! How wannabe-alpha. Anyway, this will take time.
DON’T BUY DRINKS……YET!
Perhaps as an artifact of my stay in the U.S. and my high pay, I don’t feel it’s a big deal to buy drinks. That certainly changed here in SG with the high prices. And it did put this German girl I met yestarday into some sort of funk. I allayed her fears by saying, no worries, I’ll buy the drinks. I invited you here. Inviting a girl you met out at night for only a few minutes to drinks is a pretty bad move here in SG. If she pays for her drinks, the expense will play in her head. If I pay that’s supplication. For now, hold off drinks at bars or clubs. Let’s do coffee at starbucks instead or just take a bloody walk, or just get something to eat. Not sure. This space needs plenty of experimentation. A big change from Austin where you can easily have a couple drinks with the girl and spend under 20 bucks. Here in SG, couple drinks will break the bank. I saw a lot of couples on the pier. They were not drinking. I need to get out of this paradigm of thinking that the bar over drinks is a good place to escalate. It might well be, but I must still question that assumption at this time.