Evaluating a Girl

Since I am evaluating a Girl as a long term partner, this clearly requires some thinking on my part. I have no experience with this.

I remember a Sri Lankan Monk’s article where he lambasted this tendency in Sri Lankans to look at astrological signs before marriage. Apparently the Buddha’s view was that a Wife and husband must be of similar mind. So Logically following, I can think of a few quick qualities she must have

1. Ethical: Not indulge in deception. A no brainer in today’s environment where the state and society have poisoned relationships between men and women causing much mistrust.

2. She must strive to stay attractive. For instance, I have always had a great deal of respect for women who try to maintain their looks and shape well into marriage. That shows that they respect their husband’s sex drive. We men too must strive to remain attractive to our women. If one is going to have sex with another, then we have to make some concessions to these human preferences. Otherwise, stay Celibate by God. Needless to say I feel women who let themselves go after marriage are being disrespectful to their husbands. Not good wives.

3. No hang ups regarding Sexuality: A no-brainer

4. A list from the Suttas
a) not harbor evil thoughts against her husband;
b) not be cruel, harsh or domineering;
c) not be spendthrift but should be economical and live within her means;
d) guard and save her husband’s hard-earned earnings and property;
e) always be attentive and chaste in mind and action;
f) be faithful and harbor no thought of any adulterous acts;
g) be refined in speech and polite in action;
h) be kind, industrious and hardworking;
i) be thoughtful and compassionate towards her husband, and her attitude should equate that of a mother’s love and concern for the protection of her only son;
j) be modest and respectful;
k) be cool, calm and understanding — serving not only as a wife but also as a friend and advisor when the need arises.

Needless so say, The qualities required of a man are Similar.

I think, with some help, I should be able to evaluate these qualities after knowing the girl for some time. Should be an interesting journey

About masculineffort

A Man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, seduce a woman, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
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One Response to Evaluating a Girl

  1. Haha says:

    If she/he loves themselves, all stated qualities in above article will come in a package. Many more interesting values will shine because a self-love person keeps growing, and they are able to love others as well. The list of girl’s quality will grow enormously. Till then you may need to publish a book. Enjoy your journey!

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