U.S. Real estate is possibly a buy

There are several reasons why people buy anything at all. It is not my intention to explore all these reasons for that is a topic more pertinent to psychology than to investing. We will explore the reasons why I buy anything because, well, this is after all my blog and I will do whatever the hell I please.

The first reason is consumption. This includes food, clothing, rent, gym membership etc. These are things I need for living. This has been the bulk of my spending so far. We will no longer talk about consumption on this post.

The second reason is investment. An investment is basically something that will pay off over time. It usually never pays off immediately. This comes under the category of buying machinery for a manufacturing plant, or investing in a company that will develop a wonder drug, or taking a loan to pay your tuition for that engineering degree. These are all investments. It is called an investment simply because it is expected to produce value in the future.

The third reason is for generating income. This is the topic of this post. And it is in this context that we shall discuss U.S. Real estate. While I was living in the United States there was a housing boom going on there. Simultaneously in my own province in India, there was a bubble in land prices. U.S. houses as well as Land in Andhra were touted as investments. The reason they were cited as investments was that the value would go up over time. Nobody bothered to explain to me why their value would go up over time. Nobody seemed to have any clear idea either. We kept hearing vague generalities such as “They are not making any more land” or “the population rises, but land does not increase” or some such nonsense. Nobody explained why that was a sufficient reason for land prices to keep going up. After all population had been going up for a long while. So why were land prices going up like this only now? What changed? Nobody had any coherent answers. They had plenty of made up answers. Land prices were going up like crazy even in far flung villages. This topic itself is a more an area of research more for psychiatrists than for investors. So I will not cover it here. Go to google and type “indian real estate bubble” or “U.S. housing bubble” to get all the info you need.

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First, I ask myself the question, Why is land valuable? How must we determine it’s value? To me land is valuable if I plan to do something with it. Someone must have plans to use it to produce something of value. If the land just sits there, it has no value. So if you hope to make money out of the land, you must either do something with it such as grow food, build a factory that produces goods, build an apartment building and rent it out to tenants, or build an office building and rent out office space. Either you must do it, or you must sell it to someone who plans to do something with it. Someone who plans to produce value with it. If you just want it to sit there, it’s value is zero, nada, nothing. Unless you are one of those people who get’s value out of gazing at empty land. I assure you I am not one of those people

Next question, How would I value land? Here is where the question of Yield comes up. How much can I generate from that land? Suppose you bought some land and a house on it and you rented it out. In how many years do you expect to get your money back? To me the answer is under 20 years. If I get my money back in 20 years, then it is a good deal. If you get your money back in twenty years, the rental yield is then said to be 100/20 =  5% per annum

Given this information, let us try to evaluate the rental yields in A city in India called Hyderabad. This will illustrate to you exactly why I believe Rental property in Andhra is a bubble.

Price of home in prime area with clean title = $500,000.

Tax on that home = 8% * $500,000 = $40,000

Total home price = $540,000

Yearly rent on said property = $7200

Maintenance cost on said property = $1200 per annum

Total income = $6000 per annum

Tax on that rent will be assessed at 33%. Remember anyone who can afford a home like that probably is in India’s top tax bracket and already pays 33% of his/her income in income taxes. Thus the extra $6000 he/she makes on this will be taxed at the same rate

Tax on rental income  =  33% * $6000 = $2000 per annum

Actual rental income = $4000 per annum

Rental yield = $4000/$540,000 = 0.7%

You will get your money back in 135 years if you invest in rental property. 125 years back was 1877. There was  no aeroplanes, the sun never set on the british empire, the british ruled India, Adolf Hitler was not yet born, China was still under Manchu Rule, the boxer rebellion was 20 years away. Do you want to take bets on what the world will be like in 125 years? Exactly! That is why the Real estate market in Hyderabad is a bubble. Either House prices must come down or the rents must go up. Either the real estate prices are too high or the rents are too low. You can’t have it both ways. But rents are not too high. People are already unable to make household budgets balance and rent is a big component of that. So rents cannot go up any higher. Then we must conclude that the House price is too high. Personally, I think the house prices will not come down. The real estate lobby in India consists of powerful politicians and bureaucrats who will never let house prices fall. Thus rents will have to rise. And the way to do this is by devaluing the Rupee, i.e. printing more rupees and causing inflation. Thus the house price will remain at $500,000 while the rents, food prices, clothing prices all go up astronomically. This is exactly what is going on in India right now with the Rupees precipitous fall against the U.S. Dollar. To be fair, no one in India buys real estate for the Yield. They buy land as a hedge against inflation because the Indian Rupee is a really shitty currency. The Land helps them preserve purchasing power. The average Indian pays such a large premium for land simple because it is an inflation hedge. You could argue that they could buy precious metals, and in fact Indians do buy a lot of Gold. Land is just a way to diversify their savings beyond Gold. So in this context, Real estate in India may not really be a bubble.

Singapore also has the problem of very high house prices, but the yields are a little better at 1.6%. Basically in Singapore you will get your money back in 64 years. Ofcourse this is only for the property in areas like Orchard where foreigners are permitted to buy. This is not the case in the HDBs. The Rental Yields in HDBs are more respectable at 5%. But since I am single, with no plans to marry, the HDBs are out of my reach. Here is my analysis of HDB yields

Average HDB flat price = $400000

Yearly rent = $22000

Yield = 5.5%. Get your money back in 18 years. Very respectable

Now, let us get to the meat. U.S. real estate. In some areas the yields are spectacular. According to part of this article http://www.planbeconomics.com/2012/01/29/14-of-top-20-cities-for-gross-rental-income-now-in-us/, the house price to rent in JacksonVille Florida is 1.2! This means you get your money back in 15 months! This is incredible if it is true. This needs further investigation. The place I lived in the U.S. was texas. This state has very high property taxes at 2.4%. This prevented house prices going too high and consequently Texas never experienced the housing bubble. In Austin,TX and Dallas, TX, the rental yields are close to 10%. This I have confirmed with friends, This is incredible. And it makes me a bit suspicious. One thing every veteran investor knows is that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is not. Why are house prices so low relative to rent. I got a few answers after interrogating friends

1. Banks are not lending like they used to: Earlier, everyone with apulse got a home loan. Not anymore. So forget about taking a loan to buy a house. You have to put 100% down or close to it. If you put less than that down, then you need a very good, high paying, stable job for the bank to lend. Basically, banks are willing to lend to people who don’t need the loan. Why does this not surprise me?

2. People do not have the money to buy the house: Most Americans live pay check to paycheck inspite of very Good salaries. Thus they earn enough to pay the $700 monthly rent, but they do not have the $30,000 needed to buy the apartment or Condo outright. This I know to be a fact. That the normal American is not a competitor. It is common for an American to make $3000 a month and still have no savings.

3. A lot of these properties belong to the bank. These were the result of fore closures where the person who borrowed from the bank could not keep up the monthly mortgage payments and so the bank seized the property. The banks want to get these properties off their Book ASAP. They are not in the property management business. They would rather sell at a loss and get them off the books rather than hold them or manage them. Banks do stupid stuff like this all the time and apparently this is standard practice for banks. Okay, so this makes sense.

But I still have a few more questions

1. Why are international investors not buying? Actually international investors are buying. Miami is full of brazilian buyers. Phoenix full of Canadians. Homes in these cities do not offer such fantastic yields. The Fantastic yields are in second tier American towns such as Lamar, TX where Foreign investors do not venture. Foreign money sticks to the Big American cities like Chicago, NYC, Miami etc.

2. Why are property management firms not acquiring these properties and making a killing? I am not sure of this reason. Are they restricted by law? Do they not have the money? Are the properties too spread out? Property management firms probably do not like to buy one house here and one there. They like to buy in chunks. This could be the reason though I am not sure. I need to investigate this reason.

There are several other questions

1. If I buy a house for $30000 that rents for $6000 a year. Will the state assess property taxes on $30000 or more. This is a real query because at one time houses in atlanta were selling at $12000, but the state assessed taxes as if the houses were worth $90000.

2. maintenance costs?

3. You cannot manage the house yourself since you are a foreigner. How much will a real estate agent charge? how to find a reliable real estate agent who won’t cheat you?

4. Tax rates on the rent?

There are several other questions which I need to think of before buying. But it looks to me that U.S. residential real estate in second tier towns such as JacksonVille, FL and Lamar, TX is definitely worth investigating

Quitting and wanton patience

I have always had an aversion to quitting in between when the job was as yet unfinished. An aversion no doubt pounded into me during my upbringing. You too must have kept hearing stuff like, ” Winners never quit and quitters never win.” You see movies where the lead actor wants to quit and the lead actress shames him into continual trying by saying stuff like “How could I have fallen in love with quitter.” Remember top gun where Maverick wants to quit. What does she say to him? 

But lately I may need to do a re-think on this. What if you are on a wild goose chase? Would it profit you to go on for ever? What if a man was trying to build a dam made of sand. He could go on for all eternity and still not have a functional dam. Sure you can say that he should not quit and instead try to build a dam with stone. But what if sand was the only available material? They don’t teach this stuff in school do they? All the proverbs in school are just dumbed down slogans. Lost is the nuance. Lost is the context. All that is left is a catchy Jingle or a political slogan. If your school teachers were anything like mine, then you probably know that a lot of them were not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. They probably never took any initiative in their lives nor did they do anything terribly original. 

I’ve been waiting five years for this event. I have achieved several of my goals. There is one last goal. But I do not know how far the goal really is. You must have heard the story of the donkey dragging a cart while a farmer placed a carrot right in front of it’s nose. The donkey moves to get to the carrot, but since the cart moves along with the donkey and the farmer sits on the cart, the carrot too moves at the same speed as the donkey and is always exactly out of reach of the Donkey. I am kinda feeling like this donkey right now. I’m waiting for some government paperwork before I move to the next thing in my life. I was initially led to believe that I would get it approved right that day. Then after I submitted the application, I was told that it would take another 1-2 weeks and now 2 weeks minus one day are up and still no approval. Worse, I cannot get an answer as to where in the process it is. And how much longer the wait is. It is completely opaque. Meanwhile my body is in full blown rebellion. No longer is it willing to allow the mind to drag it along. Violent, unpleasant sensations ravage the body. Do I really need this governmental approval. How much longer is the wait. I no longer want to continue doing what I have been doing. My original intent was to get the approval and then quit. But to get the approval I have to continue doing what I have been doing. After I get the approval I really no longer need to. Governments can be silly this way. Now do you see my analogy of sand being the only material to build the dam? Should I really be building the dam? Should I look at other avenues of getting water for irrigation? 

Q1. Do I really need this approval to achieve my aims?

ans. Not really but it would make things so much easier to achieve my aims

 

Q2. What is the problem with waiting?

ans. Violently unpleasant sensations ravage my body. I have lost control of my emotions. Can you ask a man who has finished a marathon to go another mile? My health could seriously be ruined by this. 

 

While patience is a virtue, there is such a thing as wanton patience. At this point patience leaves the domain of a virtue and enters the territory of foolhardiness. There is something profoundly emasculating about waiting like a serf while your masters in government decide your fate. There is profound dignity in telling your masters to go stuff themselves. This constant waiting makes one feel like a serf. That’s part of the body’s rebellion. My body is telling me enough is enough. How much are our masters allowed to lie to us. How much are they allowed to raise our hopes and then put our dreams just out of reach. Not completely out of reach, as we would stop trying. They make it look like if you just tried a teeny weeny bit more, you’d get it. How much longer are they allowed to get away with this? The last time I applied extreme willpower in bodybuilding, I injured my nerves. By applying it this time, I might end up hurting my emotional health. Well, one thing that a man must do is learn from experience. I must not apply extreme willpower this time. Or it might just kill me emotionally. You see, I have lost control of my emotions.  

So the lesson is clear. My max wait is 3 days no matter what happens. In between if I lose control of my emotions, I will quit. I have to learn how to be a peace with myself and the things that happen to me. All I ever wanted was the satisfaction of trying my best of giving it my best shot. But what does giving it your best shot mean? Does it mean going so far as to lose your health? Your sanity? A limb? The answers are not clear. What is important is that you be at peace with yourself. And I think I will have to learn to be at peace with the emotions that come from the feeling that I may not have tried my best. Ok, so I am a quitter. Now what? It’s a classic battle taking place in my mind. One part says, “Quitter”. The other part says, “Slave”. I don’t know about you, I’d rather be a quitter. A slave has no dignity, no redeeming quality. A quitter at least has his freedom.

Still there is the following survival guide

1. Don’t dwell in negativity

2. Exercise

3. Meditate

4. Accept that you may be a quitter

The Indian Rupee will continue to fall against the USDollar

All through my childhood, there was one certainty. That the rupee would always fall against the dollar. This happened regularly, consistently from 1947 to 2001. Then from 2001 to 2011, for 10 years, the rupee-Dollar stayed flat staying within the 1 USD  = 40-50 INR range. Now it seems that the trend has changed again. And I feel that the Rupee will continue falling against the dollar. To see why this is the case let’s analyse why the rupee consistently fell against the dollar from 1947-2001. Short answer, ”Reserve bank of India printed many more new Rupees every year than the US Fed”. You all know the long answer. Better and bigger minds (Rajeev Srinivasan not included) have compiled reams on this topic.

The more interesting question is this, “What happened in between 2001-2010?” Short answer, “The RBI somehow printed less than the USFed.” But how did this happen? I remember 2005. Prices in India were 1/10th what they were in the U.S. I knew that the Indian rupee was severely undervalued vis-a-vis the dollar from a pure PPP perspective. as India was entering the global markets, the rupee was bound to rise against the dollar, or else prices in India were bound to rise to get closer to U.S. levels. After all Dollars were now beginning to flow into India. Well, the RBI continued it’s money printing shenanigans and prevented the rupee from appreciating against the dollars. There was the 6th pay comission that sent salaries of India’s government officials soaring. At the moment of this writing, the rupee is no longer undervalued. Prices in hyderabad, India are actually higher than those in Austin, TX, USA.

1. Petrol is cheaper in Austin. No surprise here.

2. Clothing is cheaper in Austin. Walmart will sell you an undershirt for $1.50. U/ndershirts in India now cause over $3. Malls in singapore are selling shirts at the same price as malls in India. Malls in austin are selling the same stuff at half the price as in either place.

3. Houses in India are way way more expensive than U.S. You can now get a big 3 bedroom house in Austin for $100,000. Try getting a the same house in Hyderabad for 54 lakh rupees.

4. Food in restaurants costs the same in hyderabad and austin

5. Hawker centers in singapore sell food for the same price as roadside dhabas in Hyderabad.

6. infact the only thing that is cheaper in hyderabad than in Austin is rent. Rents in hyderabad are still 25% of those in Austin.

Given this info, you can see what inflation has been like in India.

1. The Rupee is no longer undervalued vis-a-vis the USD even from a Nominal perspective.  From a PPP perspective it is overvalued by atleast half.

2. From the trade deficit perspective it is still not undervalued. The U.S. trade deficit is around $1 Trillion. India’s deficit is $185 billion. Given the relative size of the economies, the trade deficit is the same proportion of the economy

3. From a resource perspective, a manufacturing perspective, a technology perspective the U.S. is far superior to India and has far superior prospects.

Given this, there are only two possibilities. Either the RBI can stop printing money and plunge india into a depression. Or continue printing and debase the currency. They will debase even compared to the USFed and that is saying a lot. They will take the second option. I’m willing to bet my life on it. At the end of the day governments are very predictable. The rupee will continue to fall. To the NRIs reading this. Don’t put your money into the NRE/NRI accounts that the indian government is offering. You will lose your shirts. And for the Indians earning their money in India. Buy Gold, buy Silver with half your monthly savings every month. There is literally no other way to protect your savings. Or else spend all your money on fine clothes and dining and vacations and have no savings. But to save money in rupees is tantamount to giving it away 

Not sure about Gold and Silver? Look into platinum and Palladium, you guys!

After a few conversations with friends and acquaintances I see that many think that Gold and Silver are overbought. This is a valid concern. Now I still do not believe Gold is overpriced. It may not be a bargain anymore. But it is not overpriced. You may even be paying a small premium for it. But for the value it offers as an inflation hedge, I say damn the premium.

But this post is not about Gold and Silver. It is about other inflation hedges. We’re still in precious metals here. Let’s look at platinum and compare it with Gold

1. As rare as Gold. So all things being equal it should be priced the same as Gold. But all things are not equal

2. Platinum deposits are more spread out than gold is and come in smaller quantities per mine. Okay, this may make it a little bit more expensive than Gold to extract. This is because the initial outlay is higher. You have to set up equipment in more places to mine the same amount.

3. Has industrial uses in spite of it’s high price. Catalytic converters. Again this should make it more expensive than Gold

4. Resistant to corrosion like Gold. Equal to gold in this respect 

5. Not a long history of use. Recent discovery.

It is #5 that makes platinum so interesting to me. If you leave out #5, platinum should be more expensive than Gold. And indeed platinum has traditionally been more expensive than Gold precisely for these reasons. So what’s been happening the last few months? Why is platinum lower than Gold? Aaah, My friend. This is where #5 comes in.

Let me ask you this? Have you ever tried to purchase physical platinum? Physical gold? Anyone who has tried will tell you that physical platinum is far harder for an individual to purchase than physical Gold. And why is that? Because Gold has been in human consciousness since the days of the barter system. Platinum has been around only in the last 200 years. When people lose confidence in currency, they turn to Gold. Not platinum. Why? Because Gold has been around much longer. So in recent months people are losing faith in national currencies and their thoughts are turning towards Gold. Not platinum. And this, my friends, the reason for Gold to be more expensive than platinum these last few months.

But here is what I anticipate. People will start thinking about platinum as well. As an inflation hedge. As an alternate to Gold. Soon. They will start thinking about it as an inflation hedge. They will make enquries. And suddenly coin dealers will start offering physical platinum. There will be platinum jewelry. Remember 2005? Compare the number of Gold dealers now to the number in 2005. Did UOB offer and Gold and Silver account in 2005? Did Everbank? Did Goldmoney, bullionvault, GoldAFE exist then? As of now only Goldmoney offers platinum. Soon, the others will. UOB will. Everbank will. In India you have to go all the way to bombay to pick up some platinum. But one day, platinum dealers will sprout like mushrooms after an afternoon shower. They have to. Governments are bent on inflating their currencies and people are becoming more desperate for options to protect their hard earned savings. Stocks are a scam. Real estate is a bubble. Bonds yields are low. Gold is on everyone’s mind. Platinum is still in the subconscious. One day, it will come to the surface of human consciousness. And what, my friend do you think will happen to platinum then?  

And as for palladium, do your own research guys. And let me know what you find. Be sociable. Share.

Rajeev Srinivasan: Why are you silent on Gold, buddy?

I first encountered articles by Rajeev Srinivasan at Rediff when I was still a grad student. I immediately liked his articles. Here was a man who wrote well, who was articulate, passionate and obviously well read. This was a big contrast from the writers for those fossilized Indian media outlets such as the Times of India, The Hindu or the Indian express who basically made no sense to me then. Actually they make no sense to me even now. And after a few conversations with friends, we decided that they made no sense to anyone who actually did some thinking. Anyway coming back back to Rajeev. So the guy was obviously fun to read. And then he suddenly disappeared from Rediff for a while. Like for 8 years. But now he’s back. He’s been writing about the reason for the Rupee’s fall here

 http://www.rediff.com/business/column/rescuing-the-rupee-what-can-be-done/20120525.htm

 and here

http://www.rediff.com/business/column/the-saga-of-the-rupee-and-why-it-is-falling/20120524.htm

So I was understandably a little excited to see him back. But alas! I am no longer a wide eyed twenty something in college. I am now a grizzled thirty-something veteran of the hi-tech industry. Oh! what a difference 8 years make! His articles left me ………………….. disappointed! In the years since he had left,

1. I had started working in industry

2. I had become a Gold bug. I had started looking at investing, money and economics.

3. I started going out regularly to talk to women with the ultimate purpose of having sex with them

And these factors, my friends, have made all the difference.

The first thing you notice is that Rajeev’s articles are all theoretical. There is a lot of the governments should do this and they should do that and not do this and not do that. Rajeev, buddy! I have a newsflash for you. We all know what the government should do or not do. We also know that the government is not going to do what it should and will continue doing what it should not. And frankly, we are tired of it all. And we are tired of people who talk in terms of should and shouldn’t. Fuck should and shouldn’t. What the hell is that anyway? And how the hell does it help us at an individual level?  You see, we are practical men and women of this world. And we have nothing but contempt for theories that cannot be implemented. What we ARE interested in is this, “what can we do as individuals?” Nowhere in your articles do you talk about that. It is as if we are some sort of feckless serfs (or farm animals) who must just wring our hands while we petition our divine leaders to please please implement these wonderful ideas so that us serfs can maybe not die of starvation and instead die of overwork. You know what Rajeev? Fuck that! I may be a serf now, but I have no intention of continuing to be a serf. I want to know what can I do as an individual. Yes, the rupee is falling. Yes, it is causing the price of roti, kapda and makaan (food, shelter, clothing) to rise. Yes, it is destroying our savings. What should we do about it? You are silent on that.

Yet, you are full of helpful suggestions for the government, none of which they actually asked you for. None of which they are going to implement even if you had the opportunity to talk to them man to beast. Do you seriously believe your ideas have a chicken wing’s chance in my doberman’s bowl of being implemented? Rajeev, my friend, let me tell you why. The reason your ideas will never be implemented by our divine masters is that implementing your ideas will cause them to lose power and influence. Now why the hell would any government official want to do that? Do you know nothing about human nature? Do you spend any time interacting with real human beings at all? Or are you just interested in writing long voluminious posts like yours truly? I really hope it is the last. Sincerely.

Since Rajeev, my buddy! you did not offer the common man of India any practical tips, I will do that. That’s right my friend. You advise our divine masters. I will advise the humble masses of India. But unlike you, I know that my ideas too have no chance in hell of being implemented by my humble countrymen either. But what the hell. I too like writing for fun. Just like you. So in this spirit let us start

1. Guys, if you do not save any money then this article is not for you. If you spend all that you earn, inflation is not really an issue for you. To be sure, you do have issues. And I am not competent enough to help you deal with any of them. Inflation is my bag. Now, Inflation is a problem only for people who have savings, because every year, their savings are worth less and less

2. If you have savings, my advise is that you take half your savings from every month’s income and use it to buy Gold and Silver. Why gold and silver? Think back to 2005. What was the price of milk then? Rent? What is it now? What was the price of Gold then? Now? Aaah! do you see the correlation? Wonderful. Basically if you saved your money in gold and silver, you would not have lost any purchasing power at all. Brilliant isn’t it? I wish I could take credit for being the first to come up with this insight. But alas, better and bigger minds solved this problem before my father was but sperm in my gandfather’s genitals.

3. So why 50-50? well, you do need cash right? For emergency purposes. That’s why?  Or I’d ask you to do 100% Gold and silver. Also the Indian govt has this charming habit of raiding your home and asking you to prove that you did not steal all that Gold and Silver. They have this delightful habit regardless of who is in power. In that case, some cash would help, to deal with the government raider. A desi katta would help too. That way, you could put some metal through his ass if he refuses your generous offer to put some rupee in his pocket. Anyway, you knew that the part about the Desi Katta is a joke right? Right?

Okay, now time for me to take applause …… …………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  Thank you! Thank you!

Now let me get back to you Rajeev! Betcha you thought i forgot about you dincha? Well, how could I forget my boyhood hero? Those days, when I had more sperm in my testicles than sense in my head. Aaah! But for those days. Now let me tell you how this action by the humble Indian masses will not only protect their savings thus helping them on an individual level regardless of government policy, but they could also bring about the very changes you talk about in that theoretical article you wrote.

You see my friend, the ruppee is falling because the Government keeps printing more and more rupees! I’ll give you some time to digest this information. That’s right. I know it’s a revolutionary insight. Once again, I cannot honestly take credit for this one. The same better and bigger minds……damn them! Anyways, Inflation is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon. Prices rise because governments print money. Got that? Really? So soon? I’m not sure. Maybe you need the day off to figure this out. Go on, take the day off. No? Okay then. Let’s carry on.

Each of those things that the government is doing requires them to print money. That is right. That is what deficit spending means. And it requires them to print money that people are willing to use and accept. Now what happens if every humble Indian uses 50% of his savings to buy Gold and Silver? That’s right. I knew you are quite smart when you put your mind to it. After all, you were my boyhood hero. The rupee will start crashing so fast that it will no longer be an acceptable medium of exchange. Shopkeepers will demand silver rounds to sell you stuff. If that happens what is the point of the government allocating 21638 Crores of rupees to give to policticians for renovating their 34.26 bungalows. Because it is still rupees. And no mason is going to accept rupees to lay one brick on another. He will demand silver.

And if the government tries to abolish Gold and Silver like those silly Americans in 1933, then guess what honey? This is India. Our public may not care much about how much fodder Laloo Yadav ate in the Chaara Ghotala case, but they will raise heaven and hell to rain fury on earth if you as much as insinuate touching their Gold. Remember what happened to that silly old man, Morarji Desai (MJD for short)? He tried to do something or the other to my Great grandmother’s gold back in the late 70s. Some nonsense about balancing the budget. Well, my Great Granny was not buying any of that. What the hell did MJD think she was? A fool? Or god forbid, a trained economist with a PhD from one of those brick houses? well, Let me set you straight Rajeev! My great granny might have been illiterate, but she was nobody’s fool! She could not write, but she could tell a scam from a mile away. She had trouble readingwords, but she could read people and she could read their lies. And that sonofabitch called MJD was nothing but a scam artist of the lowest order. She was a woman of action. She had a cheery disposition, but when she was displeased, it was not exactly a delightful experience to be the cause of her displeasure, let me assure you of that from personal experience. While I hate that piss drinker (no joke) Morarji Desai, I did feel sorry for him that one time. My GG came right out the street, all of 75 years but with a vigour of a 20 year old. And she yelled on the street. Obscenities! Which would make a male college student of Engineering blush. And guess what Raj, She was joined by millions of other great grannies just like her. Nobody’s fools! And they gave it to that ratfink MJD left and right. And after that incident, neither that fucker, nor any of the other our our divine leader fuckers ever dared to touch Gold again. Now my Great Granny and my Granny are both Gone to the great peaceful void in the sky, God bless their souls. But their spirit lives on in my mother. And i would want to fuck around with my mother’s gold…..NOT

Damn! that was a long tangent i went into. Bt this blog is free. So fuck you! I love and admire my Great Granny and my Granny and never miss an opportunity to talk about them. And neither should you miss an opportunity to talk about yours! And if you do, fuck You again! Twice! In the ass the second time.

Now coming back to my point, the Indian government will not dare to abolish Gold and Silver ever. And if the Rupee does lose the confidence of the common man, the government is screwed! Good riddance assholes! And you know what is so sweet Rajeev? Let’s say only 3.2 Indians take my advice. Those 3.2 Indians will protect their savings from inflation. And so even if my ideas do not cause the Indian government to reform ( reform is a polite way to say fuck off and die), they will have helped the people who followed my advice on an individual level. How’s that for practicality, professor Srini?

Lessons from my girlfriend

1. You are not ready for an American Sarge-a-thon

2. Don’t watch any TV at all. You are particularly vulnerable at mealtimes

3. Don’t surf the net at all. You gravitate towards serious topics and become serious

3. Don’t read any serious book. Don’t read any fiction and don’t read the news

4. Do something with your body other than strength training and sex. Do something with your body that involves a new skill such as classical dance, a new sport like kick boxing

5. Don’t think about serious topics. Let your mind go free now and then.

Gay people of America: You are coming close to screwing yourselves….and not in a good way

Remember a time when sexual relations between consenting males used to be a crime?

Remember a time when the only thing gay people wanted was the government out of their private lives?

Remember a time when Gay men only cared about the love they felt for each other?

A time when they did not care about any one’s opinions or disapproval?

A time when they did not ask for approval? When they did not ask for recognition? When they did not ask for acceptance? A time when they asked only for tolerance.

There was A time when they were okay even if we straight people were merely indifferent to them. When all they asked is that we not break their bones with sticks and stones.

Suddenly they want larger society and government to recognize their love, to sanction their marriages, to get legal protection. That’s right, American gay people want the government back into their private lives. After having fought so hard to get the government out of their bedroom, they now celebrate the government’s re-entry into their private lives.

What has happened to you, O’ gay people of America. Do you not see how your government has all but destroyed traditional heterosexual marriages in your country with their legal shenanigans? Do you not see how relations between the male and female genders in your country are so poisoned that fully half the women of marriageable age are now single. The genders simply do not trust each other any more to commit to a life together. What happened? The government happened. And the same government is now about to happen to you.

  We straight people used to envy you hay people for some things. Such as how all of you look so relaxed. A relaxation that comes from regular sex. A relaxation that comes from trusting each other. I never saw a sexually frustrated gay man in my life. And yet, and yet, something tells me that with this move, I am now about to see a lot more sexually frustrated gay men in the future.

      So you wanted legal protection. So you wanted employer benefits for the spouse or partner. Well, you’re going to get them. And you are going to get a lot more than that. Things you never asked for. Things you do not want. Things the people in heterosexual marriages get. Like what? Let’s see

        First, let’s talk divorce. What will a gay divorce look like? Who get’s the house? Will there me alimony payments? In case the gay couple have adopted a kid, who get’s custodyThe way I see this, this will follow the same rule as heterosexual marriage. Basically the working partner pays alimony to the non working partners. I don’t see why this will change. I also imagine that the non-working partner will usually get custody, And if the working partner fails to pay child support payments or alimony, he goes to jail That means the gay man who works hard will basically become a lifelong slave to the gay man who does not. Are you ready for this, gay people? Perhaps we will see a similar phenomenon, that while gay marriage may be legal, the successful gay man wants nothing to do with it? Just like in heterosexual relationships where successful men run from marriages but lazy men jump at the chance. 

What about domestic violence. How will that look? 

So many questions. So much speculation. So few real answers. But mark my words gay people. The more perceptive among you will probably see the day of state recognition as a dark day. As the day that destroyed trust. And as for less perceptive among you……..aaah! never mind, this is not meant for you anyway