FIFA World Cup 2014 Semi Final and Final predictions

So far, out of 12 matches in the knockouts, I made 8 predictions. Of those 8, all have been correct. The matches are now going to be closer and closer. Predictions get harder and harder. Now getting it right is as much about luck as logic.

Now time for some future predictions

1. Brazil to Beat Germany

Everyone knows about the Mental toughness of the Germans. Everyone knows about the flair, talent and brilliance of the Brazilians. What is usually forgotten is that the Brazilians are mentally tough in their own right. For instance, how many penalties has Brazil lost in this and previous world cups? Exactly! Do you guys know that since 1974, 6 of the 7 teams to knock out Brazil have gone on to the Finals. That is just how hard Brazil are to beat.
Then there is history and Psychology. Notice how Chile never really believed that they could beat the Brazilians. Notice how the Colombians suddenly played their worst game on running against the Brazilians. Playing Brazil is as much psychological as technical.
In previous meetings, Brazil have beaten Germany 12 times to only 4 losses. And in important tournaments, Germany have never beaten Brazil. Now I know that Germany are probably the toughest team mentally, but the Brazilians and Italians are the two teams that the Germans seem to go cold against. I don’t expect this time to be any different even though Thiago and Neymar will miss this one.

2. Argentina Vs Holland: Will not predict this match

Holland are the one team that have done it all this world cup. 3 times, they have come from behind. They have demolished the world champ. They have outplayed a very Good team (Chile), they have come from behind in the dying moments (mexico) and survived a penalty shootout against a very good team and Goalkeeper (Costa Rica/Navas). They look more like champions than any other team. That being said, the last two matches could have well drained them. A penalty shootout and a last minute win can be too much excitement and can drain you. They might just have nothing left in the tank against Argentina. Had they beaten CR easily, they might have been in better shape. But there is the danger that their nerves might be shot. They have had more excitement than any other team in this WC.

Argentina on the other hand, have never had to come from behind. They have lead on every occasion. They have never had to claw back. What happens if the Dutch go ahead? But they have that guy, Messi. I just cannot bring myself to predict an Argentine Defeat. I just can’t think raionally about this match the way I can think about the others. This is what we call the Fan’s Dilemna. Maybe because I like Messi so much, it is so easy for me to see their flaws. Maybe I am a pessimist at heart. Always waiting for the inevitable collapse of my favorite team. Seeing Germany demolish Argentina in the last cup via their swift counterattacks just broke my heart.

For Argentina it is absolutely essential that they not concede an early goal. Else they are finished.

***************************************************************************************

Final Predictions

Okay, so my first prediction to go wrong was Brazil beating Germany. And Boy was I wrong. So wrong. So far I’ve got 8 predictions right out of 9. Time to analyse Argentina Vs Germany

1. Germany advantages
a. Better attack
b. Better Goalkeeper
c. Better and more Fluid teamwork
d. Extra day rest and a reasonably easy match against Brazil. So better rested
e. Recent Domination of Argentina

2. Argentina Advantages
a. Better Defense
b. Lionel Messi
c. European teams do not generally win outside Europe.

3. Scenarios
a. if Germany goes 1 up, Germany wins. They will simply shut shop and in the last minutes of the 2nd half, they will do those counter-attacks and just annihilate Argentina like in 2010.

b. If Argentina goes 1 up, it is 80-20 in favor or Argentina.

c. If it goes to extra time, it is 70-30 in favor of the Germans. The Germans have had more rest remember?

b. If it goes to Penalties, Germany wins: Germany has never lost on Penalties in a world cup. Argentina have lost only once in penalties in a world cup, in 2006, to you guessed it, Germany!

Basically this is a Great Team Vs Great Individual scenario. The Great team usually wins.

My verdict: Germany beats Argentina

Let’s evaluate the odds.

1. Germany goes 1 up: 40%
2. Argentina goes 1 up: 40%
3. 0-0 at halftime: 20%

German chances to win in regulation time: 40% + 0.25 * 40% = 50%
Argentine chances to win in regulation time: 30%
Still even after regulation time: 20%

 
If it does come to extra time

1. German chances to win in extra time: 60% (rest factor comes into play)
2. Argentine chances to win in extra time: 20%
3. 0-0 at the end of extra time: 20%

German chances to win within extra time = 50% + 0.2 * 60% = 62%
Argentine chances to win in extra time = 30% + 0.2 * 20% = 34%
Still even after extra time: 4%

German chances to win on penalties: 100% (extra rest + mental toughness)

Total German winning chances = 66%
Argentine chances = 34%

So a 2:1 odds in Germany’s favor are what I am calling.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

FIFA World cup 2014 quatro-Finale predictions

My previous post on the FIFA world cup predicted the outcome of the pre-quarterfinal matches. I made predictions for 6 out of 8 matches. All six havecome true. Now time for some predictions for the quarter finals. The most impressive teams so far have been Colombia and Netherlands. I was reluctant to name Colombia earlier because of the perception that they had so far played teams that were not too strong. Netherlands continues to be the most impressive teams because they seem to have done it all. Demolished a champion, come from behind, topped the group by easily beating the runner up and shown nerves of steel to win a game at the Brink of elimination from the world cup. They have shown all the attributes of a champion team. Colombia, in my opinion have not been tested yet the way netherlands have. They have won all their games comfortably. We are not yet sure what they would do on a day when they fall behind.

France have won all their games comfortably playing weak teams in the group stages and have rarely been tested. But their defeat of Nigeria has been impressive. Germany has been tested and have come out on top on each occasion. They have shown their mental toughness. Add to this, the fact that Germany have traditionally dominated both France and England in international tournaments. The French have a major inferiority complex vis-a-vis the Germans. Several times in the past better French teams have lost to weaker German teams.

Clearly Columbia has been more impressive than Brazil in this world cup. By form alone, Colombia should beat Brazil. But the game is not played by Robots. It’s played by Humans. And with humans psychology is a factor. Watching Brazil Vs Chile, I just could not escape the feeling that Chile did not truly believe they could win. They basically choked at the Penalty shootout when actually Brazil was the team under most pressure. Do Colombia believe they can beat Brazil? That, in my opinion is the main question. So far their record against Brazil is 2-15. Because I am not sure of their mental make-up, I decline to call this match.

Can’t help noticing that Costa Rica conceded a goal to Greece in their dying minutes. Did they relax? But they did not let the disappointment get to them. They came back to win on Penalties. That takes mental strength as well.

Belgium look Solid. Mentally tough. Dark horses before the tourney. They are living up to their billing. Argentina have not looked that solid. They are finding it hard to score and when they do score, they have trouble holding on to it. But Argentina have Messi and they seem overdependent on him.

In General, great player Vs Great team and the Great team will always win. Going by that Colombia should beat Brazil and Belgium should beat Argentina. But we are human beings with emotions, with memories. We feel pressure. We doubt. It is this that is preventing me from Going with Belgium and Colombia straight up. Then there is the matter of my emotions and biases. I like Messi too much to be able to contemplate an Argentine loss to Belgium.

Each of these games is much harder to call than the pre-quarter finals.

1. Germany to beat France

2. Colombia Vs Brazil: Too Close to call (On Form: Columbia, On Psychology: Brazil)

3. Argentina to beat Belgium: Too close to call (On Form: Belgium, On Messi: Argentina)

4. Netherlands to beat Costa Rica

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Kammanahalli, Bangalore Club roundup and Review

Kammanahalli has a reputation among people in Bangalore that I am only recently becoming aware of. Some call in Kammanahattan likening it to Manhattan because of the presence of so many foreigners, especially students. One of my colleagues keeps saying to me, “So many Babes, man!” 

So, in the spirit of Science, a la Richard Feynman, I decided that this was a reputation worth investigating. Also, I need a competitor to Toit. Options are always good. 

One review of a Kammanahalli Club called Lounge 579 is already on this blog.

0. Lounge 579: Too loud to talk, cover charge, Only couples on the dance floor. Conclusion: Not for single guys hoping to get Jiggy with it. 

 

1.                                                     Extreme Sports Bar

Link: https://www.facebook.com/XSBKMN

Cover Charge: Rs 500

Stag entry: No

Conclusion: Don’t come here hoping to get laid or meet women

Player Grade: F

 

2.                                                           Rewind

Link: http://www.burrp.com/bangalore/rewind-kammanahalli-main-road-listing/151147

Cover Charge: None

Stag Entry: Yes

Logstics: This is more a restaurant than a Pub. Not really a place to drink like Toit. This is a place to eat. Tables every where. Very bad for approach logistics. There are a few rooms. There is a small outdoors where you could theoretically approach. However, one approach is all you can do there. Then you have to leave as everyone there has seen it. 

First experience: Two girls in the Balcony each with their boyfriend. One all girl set eating at their table. But tables are not really places to approach are they?

Player rating: D

 

3.                                                    Local The resto Pub

Link: http://www.bing.com/local/details.aspx?lid=YN4070x6119297565451329898&q=The%20Local&form=LARE

Cover Charge: None

Stag Entry: Yes

Logistics: You can only approach a maximum of one set. You will catch everyone’s attention with that one approach. If you get shot down, it’s time to leave, because it is a small place. So there is no place to hide unlike in Toit where you can approach a few sets and still remain relatively anonymous. 

First experience: every girl was with a date. There was a big mixed set. I don’t do mixed sets in places like that. I prefer all girls sets. 

Conclusion: Good place for a first date. Not worth driving all the way from another part of town if meeting girl is . If you live in the area, just walk in to examine the vibe. If there are reasonable looking girls, by all means grab a drink, and approach them when you are close to finishing the drink. If the set hooks, stay. Else, you leave after gulping the last drops of your drink. 

Player rating: C

 

4.                                                   Rasta

Link: http://rastarasta.com/

Cover Charge: None except when they have special events like when they invite a comedian like Russell Peters

Stag Entry: Yes

Logistics: The best logistics of any place I have seen so far in bangalore. Even better than Toit.  Three floors with the dance floor at the top. Plenty of space on every floor. Plenty of areas with excellent privacy. Excellent outdoors on all floors. If one approach at some place goes wrong, you can always leave and go somewhere where people did not see you get shot down.

First experience: The place has just opened. So when I walked in on a weekday, it was nearly empty. There were a couple of girls on the first floor with one guy. They girl was dressed in short shorts. On the weekend, there was a special event and a Rs 600 cover charge. So I decided to come some other time to check out the place. I have never had much luck with women in “events”

Conclusion: Tremendous potential. This may be the competitor to Toit I was looking for.

Player Rating: Potentially A+. A full review will come soon

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Toit on a Weekday, Part-3: Ms. Australia and Ms. Socialite

Talking to Mr. innocent has put me in a much better mood and I do another round of the bar to look for prospective sets. Every girl there is either with her Boyfriend/Husband or in a big mixed group consisting of both guys and girls. There is only one set of a couple girls. This is the set I will have to open. But I could not do it immediately.

The girls were seated outside. Toit has a nice balcony. There is also a bench you can sit on which is actually a recommended option if you are rolling solo like I am. That is exactly what I do. And the Good or bad part is that by sitting on the bench, I am exactly facing the two girls who I intend or hope to approach before the night is out. i am clearly violating the 3-second rule, let alone the three minute rule. But it can’t be helped. Approaching straight away would be suicide because I am just not feeling confident enough at the moment. I sit and observe the scene around me. There is a couple sitting and talking right next to me. There are four tables filled with only guys. Some of the guys are looking at me dubiously. The others are looking at the girls. The girls themselves seem to be very good friends. Plenty of laughing and joking and speaking loudly.

I ponder the wisdom of opening this set. In the U.S., we are advised that the best set to approach is the one where the girls are looking bored. We are advised to approach the set where the girls are looking around. We are advised to approach the sets where girls are hardly talking to each other or talking half-heartedly. The girls in this set were doing nothing that indicated that this was a good set to open. They were not looking around, they were looking like they were having a great time, they were constantly talking and laughing. Doubts assailed me. How would such a set react to my approach? Would I kill their good time? Would they shoo me away? Would they close up and stiffen at my approach? I was paralyzed by doubt. I continued to nurse my bloody Mary.

Finally, I was down to the last few drops my drink. It was time to approach. I was done with my drink. If the approach went badly, I could just head home. Just as I was about to get up, a bunch of guys came from nowhere and stood between me and the girls and started talking very loudly and boisterously while smoking and drinking. This completely killed my vibe. I stayed put resolving to wait till they left. For 15 minutes the guys stood right ahead of where I sat and I heard an infinite number of B****c**d and M****c**d while they made a great show of friendship slapping each others back. They shot the shit for about 15 minutes before leaving. Why guys have to make such a display of friendship in front of women who they anyhow do not intend to approach is beyond me. Do you understand this phenomenon? I mean I’ve seen guys talking to each other when there are no women around and they always seem to be louder and more boisterous when the women are around. What gives guys? Any theories?

Anyway, the guys were now gone and it was now or never. Here comes nothing. I got up and started heading in their direction. My stomach knotted up, my heart started pounding, fear swept through my throat, chest and abdomen. My knees felt wobbly. My legs started shaking. I thought I’d fall midway before I got to their table. How I made it to their table without collapsing or fainting, I do not know. If someone has a theory, please feel free to postulate it in the comments section.

I sat down at one of the two available chairs in the table. As I sat, they suddenly stopped talking and stared at me.
“Hi” I squeaked, trying to smile
*Awkward silence*

I’m pretty sure every body in that godamn balcony was staring at me. But I was determined not to look at anyone but these two girls. If anyone was going to psyche me out, it would be me, or it would be these two girls. Not some third party. I made a last ditch attempt to salvage this set,

“You see I was just getting done with my drink (pointing to my almost finished drink) and was heading home, but my resolution for the day was that I would not leave this place till I met at least three interesting people.”

“Three interesting people? There are only two of us.” Said one girl
“Why are we interesting? Because we are chicks?” Asked the other almost immediately

Aaaah! A response. Yessss! I’m in business. Let the party begin. We are off to the races.
1. Knot in my stomach dissolved: Check
2. Heart stopped pounding: Check
3. Legs stopped shaking. Check

I once again felt like the Masculineffort of the old days before my experiments with Celibacy.

At this point, I think it is best if we named these two girls right away for ease of referencing. The first girl works at a media outlet which I will not name. She is an old Bangalore hand having lived here for a long while. She is quite the Social butterfly and even knew an old classmate of mine who now works at Time Out Bangalore. It really is a small world, isn’t it? We will call her Ms. Socialite from now on. The other is a girl who has just returned to India after living and working in Australia for the last 5 years. Very conveniently, we will call her Ms. Australia.

“Girls, Girls, Girls!” I exclaimed throwing up my hands. “I can only answer one question at a time. I am a guy after all.”
At this they both looked at each other and started laughing.
“I asked first. So answer me.” Said Ms. Socialite
“Well I already met one interesting person. You should have met him.”
“We don’t believe you.” said Ms. Australia unable to conceal her grin
“Why not?” I asked
“Because we think you are here only because we are girls.” she said boldly
“Well! that is certainly part of the reason.” I conceded
This seemed to disarm them and they both started laughing.
“Why do you want to meet interesting people?” challenged Ms. Australia
“Mainly for my loyal readership.” See Dear Reader? You are never too far from my mind.
“Your what? Are you a writer?” asked Ms Socialite
“In a sense, yes?”
“Which magazine do you write for?”
“I write a blog.”
“A Blog?”
“Yes”
“What do you write about?” Asked Ms. Australia
“Life”
“What aspects of Life?”
“Anything that catches my fancy?”
“What’s the name of the blog?”
“Sorry, It’s an underground Blog. Part of a shadowy counterculture network”
“what?”
“Let me give you some advice Girls. Write a Blog. It is so therapeutic.”
“How?”
“Well, you can write about all sorts of things that you would never tell to anyone else. You can let it all out. You can organize your thoughts. You can say what’s on your mind.”
“Mmmmmmmm”, said Ms. Australia warming to the possibility of having her own underground blog. But she was not done trying to put me on the spot.

“We were having a girls night out and you came and interrupted us. That is a big no-no. You have not spent a lot of time with women.” She said
“Probably not.” I agreed easily
Ms Australia’s reaction indicated that this was not the reaction she was hoping for. She was probably hoping for a denial followed by a long list of my sexual peccadilloes.
“But at least you are not like the other guys.” She ventured
“What other guys?”
“I mean they come try to talk to us and are pretty creepy.”
“You mean these guys have not spent a lot of time with women.” I said with a mocking smile.
Ms. Socialite burst out laughing at this and even Ms. Australia could not suppress a smile.

“Did you put him up to this?” Ms Socialite Shouted to her friend at the other table
I turned around to look at her friend. Both she and her husband were laughing.
“That was very brave of you.” Said the girl in the other table
“Oh! It is brave only if your intentions are unwholesome. My intentions are extremely wholesome. I’m just a friendly guy.” I said
“Whatever!” Challenged Ms. Australia, “I’m sure you did not talk to any guy while here.”
“Wow! Ms Australia.” I replied back coolly. “You have no idea what I was up to the last hour. Don’t you think your categorical statement is a bit ………arrogant?”
“So who was this other guy?” She challenged. She was smiling. She is trying to put me in a spot and she is enjoying this.
“Well, he comes from a Fishing village in North Karnataka. He was telling his stories in the Big City including his ………”
“I’m going to go get myself a drink” said Ms. Socialite cutting me off and excused herself.

While Ms. Socialite was gone Ms. Australia and I made some small talk. I tried to guess where she was from and I was completely off the mark. She is from Kerala. She seemed quite upset that I guessed she was from U.P.? Why do I keep running into girls from Kerala. And why do they all Enjoy challenging me? Hell, my first Girlfriend was from Kerala. And why does U.P. have a bad rep? Some of India’s most polite, urbane and cultured people come from U.P. Hell, I witnessed a verbal fight between UPites in Lucknow and it seemed more like they were making polite suggestions to each other instead of abusing each other.
“My dear Friend, may I suggest you go drown yourself in order to increase the average IQ of this town?”
“On the contrary, Dear Sir, Your presence ensures that my demise will only ensure that the average IQ of this town actually goes down.”
Seriously this is how some of those throwbacks from the days of Nawabs abuse each other in extremely polite tones

“I feel like I am in the twilight Zone.” Said Ms. Socialite as she returned from the bar.
“Why?”
At this, they started talking about some other dude who had hit on them in a very awkward manner 5 years back. 5 years back? and they remember that incident? And it was awkward? That means no one has hit on these two girls in a night club environment in the last 5 years? Wow!

Apparently, He approached them on the excuse that they were both fans of the Same IPL team. Apparently they were trying to get rid of him but he would not take the hint.
“Well, if IPL is not going to help a guy meet women, what use is it?” I asked, “I mean it’s not like it is an actual sport.” I never miss a chance to bash the IPL.
“What? We support CSK.”
“Aaaah! you must be in love with N. Srinivasan. Sorry girls, he’s taken. He has a wife.”
“What? No! Ashwin was in the same school as I. He was a batsman then.”
“What was he like those days?”
“The same as now. A shy nice guy.”
“I guess the IPL parties are completely wasted on him then. I guess that leaves Virat Kohli to pick up the slack and have fun for two people. Himself and Ashwin.”

We talked a bit more about some General shit. In between, they offered me their meatballs which they were unable to finish. I thank them and offer to buy them drinks. They say they have already had too many for the day. So I get free food as well as good company. This is win-win I think to myself.

“So where are your friends?” Asked Ms. Australia
“I’m new to Bangalore. I have no friends here.”
“so is this a way to make friends?”
“I guess so.”
“You don’t mind going out alone?”
“I like going out alone.”
“Why?”
“It opens up a world of possibilities.”
“Like meeting hot chicks?”
“Or interesting guys.”
“But don’t you want to hang out with friends?”
“When I hang with friends, he either comes to my place or I go to his, and we drink a bit, exercise together, discuss ideas, stare at the stars, howl at the moon, shit like that. When I go out I want to meet people who are different from me and who think very different from me and see the world differently from how I do”
“Like Hot chicks.”
“Among other people, yes!”
Ms. Australia’s facial expression conveyed that she was extremely fascinated by this.

http://www.rooshv.com/going-out-alone

I asked some questions about the nightlife in town. Ms. Australia got talking about her life situation. Apparently she will not be in town very long. She is not too fond of India and is looking to go abroad for work again. She is not going back to Australia. She also seems a bit Jaded with some of the degrees and professions out there. She is not sure what she will do next except that it will not be her former profession. I ask her to relax a bit, trek in the Himalayas, stay with parents, stay with all friends for a week or two. Take your time to decide what to do. We got talking about what I did during my break. While I was talking Ms. Australia seemed to be looking at me with a look that said, “who is this Guy?” I started getting the feeling that Ms. Australia likes me. I like her too. She looks a bit like Preity Zinta and is irrepressible. But I’m not sure I should get her phone number now. She will not be in town very long. Besides I am not sure she will give it to me while Ms. Socialite is there. I do not want both their numbers either.

“I guess we’ll keep running into each other in this place.” I said casually
“Hopefully” said Ms. Socialite.
“Thanks for Finishing the food.” Said Ms Australia
“Next time, I buy you guys drinks.” I said
“Certainly”

A little bit more small talk later, I excused myself. It was time for bed. I needed to go home and go to bed early for another busy day. All in all, Not a Bad night. I still retain some conversational skills. Just need to stay in touch.

Posted in sarging | 3 Comments

Toit on a Weekday, Part -2 : I meet Mr. Innocent

Continued from Part-1

Then I suddenly notice another single guy, sitting all by himself, drinking a beer and eating a Pizza. I decide to talk to Him. We’ll call him Mr. Innocent. I go up and say Hi. He is friendly and immediately invites me to sit. He is a simple, easy going guy if somewhat conservative. He grew up in a fishing Village in North Karnataka and he therefore carries with him the mores of this place. He seems interested in Politics and we talk a bit about that. Everybody in India seems excited about Mr. Modi’s victory and he is no different.

At some point I ask if he is married. He replies in the negative. We then get talking about girls. He tells me some stories about his adventures with women. The stories are light, entertaining, engaging and endearing. I thoroughly enjoy them, laugh at the conclusion of each one and High five him whenever he lets slip an interesting detail.

He tells me of the story of the girl from his office who invites him to Cafe Coffee day for a Coffee after work.
She point to the sign and looks at him meaningfully and tells him that a lot can happen over coffee. He nods his head.
She then asks him if there is something he wants to happen? Yeah, I want a promotion at work he says.
She asks him if he would like to get married at all. He says, when the time is right.
She then tells him that 28 years (Mr. Innocent’s age) is a great age for a guy to get married. He says then he must start looking immediately before he gets to the wrong age
She points to her toe and tells her that she has no toe ring.

He then asks her, “Why do you like me?”
She says, “Because you are so innocent. Not like the cunning uncles who work at the company”
He tells her, “You are too modern for me. I want a conservative girl”
“What do you mean?” She asks him
“Look at the way you are dressed. Does your top need to be so tight? This is going to make all the guys tense. Hell, it is even making me tense.”
“Hey! I’m a modern girl”, she says while running her hand through her hair.
“Exactly my point”, he counters
“I will not leave you just like that.” She threatens him
We both burst out laughing at this point.

Of course he tells me all these details in his own inimitable style the way only village folk can do. My writing cannot do justice to the way he told the story. It was a lot funnier listening to him tell it than it is for you to read my writing.

The next story involved a girl who he used to meet on the bus on the way to work. He had a crush on her. But he simply could not muster the courage to talk to her. Of course he did not see her everyday on the Bus. Only now and then. But everyday he got on the bus, he would hope to see her. And his joy would no know bounds if she happened to be on the same bus. Then one day, out of the blue, she offered him a cupcake. He thanked her and put the entire cup cake in his mouth in one go and ate it all.
“What? I can’t believe you ate it all?” She gasped
“Of course I ate it. You offered it to me, right? What was I supposed to do? Put it in my pocket, take it home and eat it there?” He countered
“No, I meant take a piece of it.”
We both again burst out laughing.

Apparently two got started talking.
“Do you work for integrated analytics?” She asked him
“No I work for segregated analytics.” He answered

Company names changed, in case you geniuses did not get it

“Oh! I see” she said
They talked a bit. After a few minutes she asked him
“Do you work for integrated analytics?”
“No I work for segregated analytics.” He said
“Oh! I see” she said
We both burst out laughing again.

So apparently they talked for some more time and Mr innocent was not listening to anything she had to say. His mind was working feverishly thinking the next step he needed to take in this budding love-story.

“What should I do? He thought feverishly.
“Should I ask her out for coffee at cafe coffee day?”
“Should I get down at her stop today instead of mine?”
“Should I ask her for her phone number?”
“No phone num is too much at this stage. How about email?”
“Well, many mails just go to Bulk. What about facebook?”
“Fuck it! What if I just go for broke and propose marriage and cut out all the bullshit?”

I doubled over the bar counter laughing.

“Oh here comes my stop. I have to go, byeeeee” She says as she jumps off the bus and Mr innocent snaps out of his trance. But before he can gather his thoughts she is gone leaving him in a daze.

And from that day, for the last 6 months, Mr. innocent has not seen her. He has tried all different timings for the bus in an attempt to glimpse he again, but all in vain. He wants to ask the Bus conductor about her, but is shy.

“I think you should ask the conductor.” I volunteer

“Really? The conductor won’t think I am a lafanga? (loafer)?” He asks

“Who cares? You are a man. Do your job. Be man. Go for it.”

“Thanks Friend! You have filled me with hope. That is what I will do. I’ll ask him if he or any other driver/conductor has seen her. She is very pretty. All the people in the bus used to check her out including the driver and conductor.”

I wished him luck in finding his dream girl and we parted ways.

Continued in Part 3

Posted in sarging | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Toit on a weekday, Part – 1: Fear

For some reason, over the last 3 months. for one reason or the other, I have been unable to go out to meet women during the weekends. The couple times I managed was a very loud place in Kammanahalli and a weekend visit to Toit which was a sausage fest. Sure there were a couple of all girl sets which I “could” have opened. But for some reason, I just did not go through. This, I believe, is a common problem for most guys.

What do you say to a woman you have never met before and who you are going to approach? Sometimes the mind just does not work. No matter what you think of saying, it does not right. It just does not sound funny, or charming or suave or profound. It just sounds stupid. We’ve all  watched too many Rom-Coms or Bond movies or movies about playboys and ladies men where the protagonist always seems to say just the right thing that befits the situation perfectly. We all tend to judge ourselves using that standard as a reference. Is it any wonder that we all fall short? Is it any wonder that most of us never even approach?

The key is to understand that the incredibly charming, perfect for the situation, devilishly clever line delivered by the Hero is the result of hours of work by script writers, producers and directors. Out in the field, when you encounter a situation, you have a grand total of three minutes to make your move. How can you compare your three minutes with their tens of hours? It’s your three minutes Vs tens of hours from a army of script writers, choreographers and what have you. 

So do not judge yourself by those standards. Approach and say something. Anything. Anything non-stupid I mean. But seriously, just approach and a simple Hi is better than nothing. And this was exactly my intent for my next visit to Toit.

This time I decided to see what the place like was on a weekday. I would go there after work, kick back with a few non-alcoholic drinks, chill, analyse the sitch (situation), make an esy going, friendly, polite approach. Fair enough. However, as 6:30 pm approached, my anxiety started to rise. Seriously, you’d think that after all these years, I would be done with the anxiety a man feels when he is about to approach women. No! I think it is time to accept that I will never be rid of approach anxiety. I will simply have to act in spite of it. Just when I was about to leave the office, I felt a need to go to the Toilet. I went in and emptied my bowels in the Office bathroom. What the hell? What next? Pee my pants? 

My heart started pounding, my eyes started lilting and I decided may it would be better if I went into the quiet room and observed the touch of the breath on my nostrils for a while. And so I did. Any excuse to go approach women. This is what happens if you go a long while without approaching women. So i went to the quiet room to observe the touch of my breath on the nostrils. I sat on the chair, started observing my breath and in couple minutes I was snoring. When I woke up, it was half an hour into the future. At this point, even I got impatient with my mind and decided to just go.

As I left the office building in my car and got onto the street, I noticed that I was in the middle of another of those rush hour traffic jams that Bangalore is so famous or notorious for depending on your point of view. It took me 45 minutes to drive 2 kms and another 30 minutes to find parking space. Exactly not the kind of thing that puts you in the sort of mood to be the life of a party. 

Once I enter Toit, I grab a Bloody Mary and walk around the bar. Toit may be a Pub, a bar, a night spot on a weekend. But on the weekday it is a restaurant. Everyone was in a group. And they were all eating. They were also imbibing alcoholic beverages sure, but they were all eating. The place is half full. Several tables are empty and almost no one is without Food. It’s hard to approach people who are eating. Drinking fine! But eating?

There were a couple of 2-sets but I could not get myself to approach them. I did not want to be here. I wanted to be at home, sleeping, or meditating, or jogging or reading. Anything, but this! But a man has got to do what a man has to do.I can’t But I sure did not feel like a man at that point. I was terrified. Petrified. I can’t approach the women.

I decide to talk to the cute receptionist. She works there. She can’t reject me. She has to talk to me. Also I’m a polite dude. Nothing much. Just plan to talk to her about the club, what the weekends here are like, how do I find an easy place to park, what are the other clubs in the area like etc etc. Just some warm up to get me in a talkative mood. But by the time I get to the receptionist, I notice some other staff at toit is talking to her at the counter. And the guy does not leave. After 10 minutes, I give up on the receptionist. 

Continued in the next post

Posted in sarging | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Club Review: Toit on a weekday

Posted in sarging | Leave a comment